This past week I've had some serious drama at work, my basement flooded and my roof leaked (we had 10 inches of rain and 70 mph winds). It has been trying. But when I compare it to the sadness and loneliness I live with daily it all seems very tolerable. At one time stuff like this would have put me over the edge emotionally but I just took it in stride. We had some water leaking at work too and someone said, "It could be worse." I immediately replied, "Yeah, it isn't cancer." Everyone looked puzzled but I knew exactly what I meant.
There is a song that Fantine sings early in "Les Mis". A couple of the verses really speak to how I feel most of the time. Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and every year I would buy Mary, Donald, Lisa and my mother-in-law something Irish-ish to celebrate. Now it is just another day to terribly miss the love of my life and the apple of my eye.
Sorry this note is so depressing.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.
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